Saturday, May 30, 2009

White Space

Just sitting around lately with not much to do. Today we started our 3-day indoc brief schedule. Yay.

This post is more of a filler, if nothing else. We got to hear about all the nice vipers, spiders, and sand fleas here. I guess I should start taking my malaria meds, but I hear it screws up your liver (or possibly).

I have some good pics to put up for some of the previous posts, but I have no wifi access for my laptop and they won't let me plug my camera into these desktops we're using, so for now it will have to wait.

I've read like, two books, watched several movies, and the entire 5th season of Boston Legal while waiting on this indoc thing to start. How sad is that? I have worked out though, and started cutting my calorie intake. The DFAC (dining facility) has each item labeled for calorie count so it's easy to figure out how much I'm eating. Not that it is in any way interesting, but I've kicked myself down to 500 calories per meal and lots of water, juice and milk. My body doesn't take long to lose weight, but it goes the other way pretty quickly, too.

I was just thinking yesterday about how we're required to carry our weapons with us everywhere and how much that differs from the real world. Anyway, this post was, like I said, filler and contained very little useful or entertaining information. Just trying to keep something up here so you guys don't think I died.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Kabul

Well, since I have at least a week here in Kabul before heading to my final spot, I get to take in the wonders of Kabul and Camp Phoenix, where you get all your minerals in one breath. As we jumped on our armored bus (called a Rhino) and started on our way out the gate toward the camp, it really hits you that you're in a war zone.

I know I wasn't the only person on that bus with their head on a swivel and getting stressed every time the convoy would slow down. It really is poor here. The camp was only a couple of miles from the airfield, but the entire way you're looking for suspicious activity. Afghans have long since learned to stay out of the way of the convoy and it showed. When we turned one corner, no car dared to try and get in between our cars. Children lined the streets, some waving, some staring. Most were wearing their traditional clothing but some had on t-shirts with random graphics. One teenager even had on a very bright purple chiffon looking shirt with popped collars that was out of place amidst the craters and crude mud houses along the street. But business is business. I saw a car sales lot named NO LEMONS, and a sign to match the name (a lemon with a circle and line through it). And these people are ingenious; for a security fence, the lot had normal mud-brick walls about 9 feet high, but when it was made the owner inserted broken glass into the top of the wet mud while it dried. Anyone trying to climb it at night would be in for a sore morning.

Anyway, these people burn every kind of waste they create and there is actually a curtain of smog surrounding the city. Good for me, I won't be here the entire year. I'll be headed to a location far enough away that the smog won't really affect us.

Today we are voluntelling a few people to go on a convoy to get our luggage. Now, convoys are dangerous. And we're gonna send people on one to get luggage. Why? Because it never made it on our plane for some reason. Ben please do something with your airmates or whatever you call each other.

So I'm just 'dwelling' again until we can do our indoc class and then I can finally get started. Bad news is, I have nothing to do, good news is, the clock is ticking into my boots on ground (BOG) date. It's a fair trade I suppose, just seems like a waste of money for the Navy to send me here to sit around for 2 weeks doing nothing. I'm ready to work.

Actually, looking back and remembering '07 deployment, the Navy gets their work out of you. I calculated my pay for 2007 and the amount of hours worked and it was around 17 cents an hour. But at least I got that 17 cents for every hour I slept, too. Sleeping DOES pay off...just not much.

Monday, May 25, 2009

The Air Force is trying to kill me.

At least that's what I'm going with...

Where have I been for the past three days? Spin your globe to the middle east and pick a major airport between Kuwait and Kabul and I've probably slept there. And I wish that were a joke.

The very day we get back from the range (previous post), we have to pack our stuff and head to the airport for a 0200 flight. Mind you, we were up that morning at 0400, so 22 hours have passed since we got on our plane. Which of course didn't leave until 0400. No sleep. 24 hours. Okay, I'm fine, whatever. It could be worse...

An hour and a half into our flight I was serenely napping. Have your ever seen a movie where someone wakes up to alarms and people are running around shouting and panicking? Yeah, been there, bought the stinkin T-shirt now. Klaxxons were blazing, lights were flashing, the people on the outside of plane had those masks next to their faces and were putting them on. I thought "Wow, maybe I should be doing something?" Luckily, I had, out of sheer curiosity, examined the oxygen-producing bag in the seat in front of me so I kinda knew how it worked. I say luckily because I was sleeping when they explained how to use it.

So this big fat C-17 is losing cabin pressure fast and I have the dumb look on my face that says "Huh? Is this a drill I can sleep through?" Supply Officers are notorious for taking their racks as battlestations during drills. This facade faded when I saw the aircrew guys jumping around in the seats and helping people get their masks on. If I had been up front and saw one of the aircrew girls crying, I would have needed help changing my pants later. Anyway, I put this thing on my head and pull the red ball that makes it create oxygen with chemicals and subsequently create alot of heat in the process.

This sounds exciting, I know. Please contain yourselves, it wasn't fun. Until the plane started to dive. Now ... I didn't know why it was diving, and like most everyone else, just figured it was broke and we were gonna, well, die. I find out later the pilot wants to get us to an altitude that actually has oxygen. Which leads me to my new status as a Qatari immigrant.

Yep, we had to immigrate to Qatar for the night. I say 'night' loosely. We were there maybe 18 hours. After we leave there, we get to Bagram and get another brief that was pretty much identical to the one we got in San Diego, then Ft Jackson, then Ft Jackson again (i'm not joking), then in Kuwait...you get the idea. I'm actually surprised they didn't just give it to us in Qatar as well. We stay over night in Bagram and leave this morning at 0930 from our tents for a 1300 flight. Anyone wanna guess how far away the airport is? Let me put it this way...if I were to accidentally on purpose have a raging fit of anger and throw all my belongings onto the main road outside the tent while suggesting loudly that the Air Force was primarily manned by people romantically linked to animals, the passenger terminal could hear me.

But whatever, there shipmates, you drink your freaking kool-aid and sit down. I'm so used to this, that I'm like a robot. I discontinued using my brain long ago, because, despite what the officer corps tells you, you don't need it to operate or understand the Air Force flight planning model. I'm pretty sure they use 5 year olds and high school dropouts from Kazakhstan to run things. "It's niiice!"

I'm going to bed before I get bitter....

Friday, May 22, 2009

Home on the Udairi Range

Strap yourselves in; gonna be a long one.

We left Camp Virginia on Wednesday around 1300 (that's 1pm for all you civilian types) for the Udairi Range. Not a long trip, but we rode the bus in full armor. We arrive around 1430 or so (just add an hour and a half to 1pm) and subsequently ground our gear. Then we picked it up and took it somewhere else. Then we were told to pick it up and bring it inside. About 20 seconds later, we were told to leave it where we were already standing. Anyone but me getting flashbacks?

You'd be proud of me, though. I made the wise choice. Knowing full well the likelihood that whoever was in charge PROBABLY didn't know what to do, I stood my ground. This is where my good time begins! As soon as the aforementioned 'HNIC' (google it and look for it in Urban Dictionary, it's worth it) told us to leave our stuff in the second spot, two people had tantrums and BAM! I literally bathed in happiness as it left their bodies. It was the moment that made the last three days worth every unopposable grain of sand I can't find on my body.

Now I realize that it's not right to relish in someone else's anguish. However, it would just be bad economics to allow that happiness to go free. Okay, enough of that. After the tantrums, we got inside our tent that served as classroom/sleeping area. Had a nice little class about convoy tactics and battle stuff, army, army, army...Sorry Uncle Ron, I know it will save my life, and I promise I listened, but I just wanted to shoot something. We downloaded alot of good combat info and then moved chairs around so the 40 of us could sleep on the floor. I found all the smokers outside on the way to the head. I may have also made some comment about scorpions and their affinity for smoke, etc, etc...I don't remember.

Aside: I realize that this was kinda wrong, too, but you have to understand I spent 2 years on a submarine. My scope of what's entertaining has been, how shall I say, 'illuminated' to the joys of sowing a little discord for my enjoyment. A few months before decom started, I took this one officer's hat and gave it to another officer to wear (he thought it was his own). But I held onto it for a week or so to build his frustration. So it wasn't just the small altercation between them in the middle of Muster that made it worth it, it was the fact that all that work paid off.

Okay, back on point. Went to the range Thursday morning and shot about 60 rounds or so, some while walking. This one girl that was standing next to me kept ending up behind me while we were doin the walk and shoot. It brought to mind the comment the range master made before we got started: "If someone gets shot, don't rush to help them, we have people for that." Huh? This happens so much they have a SOP for it? So the range was exciting in several ways for me.

That night we did another class and the TCs (truck commanders) and Convoy Commander came up with our battle plan and briefed us all that night. All good plans...

Friday morning, 0430, Reveille. No bugels, just plenty of snoring. Not by me, I slept on my stomach to keep from getting gagged at night. We loaded up the trucks and I got some good pictures (I'll post them when I get a chance) before we mounted and headed off to our Start Point. Our first checkpoint was the second traffic circle we came to. The Army hires TCN (third country nationals) to help us practice and there were a bunch of them in this little 'town.' Didn't really matter. We went through that thing so fast, that the suicide 'bomber' we never saw didn't have a chance to get close. Hey! Don't make fun, we're Navy. I buy food, parts and torpedoes for a living :)

After that was some fun stuff but would honestly be boring to read it. We sang alot of Garth in the truck while we were moving and keeping our eyes peeled for 'IED' indications. At one point, a vehicle got hit by one and there was an ambush to go with it. Once again, they employ TCNs to point fake weapons at us for realism. So I'm in the Aid and Litter vehicle...guess what I get to do? I get to run my up-armored tail to the damaged vehicle and fish out the injured/dead people and bring them to another vehicle! Yeah! When we practiced it Thursday night, we did it without body armor and I almost died hauling this 250lb guy about 200ft. Today it was just a 130lb female, so worked out much better for my heart and back. We did pretty well for our second time ever doing it, if you ask me (really, who else would you ask?). Eventually the instructors reset all the dead and injured so we could keep driving and what happens next? The lead vehicle runs right over a tripwire and triggers an IED in a disabled vehicle. Luckily that was the end of our route and we were told to wrap it up.


So that about sums up our last few days. Now I'm sitting at Starbucks, belly full of MREs and Dulce de Leche Frappucinos. We'll find out in about an hour when we'll be leaving. Because they schedule this range thing at the end, I'll be leaving the country with dirty laundry.

...come on, I'm a sailor, I had to wrap it up with a complaint!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Hydrate, Hydrate, Hydr...blegh

Standby for the Hydrate-a-thon of 2009. I'm headed to the desert (I mean, the REAL desert) today. Desert that looks the same from all directions, and there is no Starbucks, yet.

We'll be camping out there tonight and tomorrow night for some good ole range time! Whew! I really felt that I didn't get enough range time in SC, so I'm happy we're getting more. In the desert. 130 degrees. In full body armor. I guess that as a condolence to us, we get MREs with heaters this time. Heated food, in the desert.

Exactly. But anyway, this is gonna be fun I think. There's an old submarine adage we refer to as the Finite Happiness Theorem. You see, when the hatch on a submarine closes, there is a finite amount of happiness contained within. If you want to be more happy, you have to steal it from someone else. It simply MUST apply to the desert. So that will be my focus while I'm there. I'm gonna smile, sing, whistle, and point out how much fun I'm having while everyone is complaining. This is a fool-proof plan. I can't lose. Your happiness will be mine!

I should be at my final destination sometime this weekend.

Here's a pic of the airport area..and no, there's nothing wrong with my lens...it's really that dusty outside.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Okay, it's hot here....

But it actually rained last night. In the desert. Huh?

Anyway, it's pretty freaking hot in Kuwait, luckily in Afghanistan it's much cooler. It even snows during the winter. We'll be heading out Wednesday to camp out in the desert to further our experience in desert living - sounds like a home design magazine.

The heat isn't so bad, but everything has a film of dust on it. And it's not really dust, it's sand. The sand here is so fine that to make cement these people actually have to import SAND to make it. OUR sand. Funny huh.

Camp Virginia isn't so bad though. There's buildings set up in fairly close areas to go shopping or get fast food. Make no mistake, this camp is luxurious compared to most of them out there. They even have a McDonalds here, not that I really want that or vomit-inducing Hole-n-One donuts in this heat. I'll put some pics of my glorious tent up later, something you will all enjoy seeing.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Germany Layover

Hangin out in Leipzig and I just paid about 10 bucks for an hour of internet access. We've been in the air for almost 20 hours now. Our layovers in Canada and Iceland were pretty short. The airport in Keflivik was so small that most people didn't bother going through the security search to get in...which, by the way, made no sense.

They check you before you leave the terminal, but not as you're coming back into it. I guess they think us Americans are smuggling cigarettes in (smoking is illegal in Iceland). The trip hasn't been too bad. The crew has been great, we get food when we want it and water all the time, so I can't complain one iota. At this point, being strapped to a ceiling fan while getting whipped with a wet spaghetti noodle is better than being at Camp McCrady...

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Last day at McCrady

Thank God.

We're headed out super early, just after midnight. We have three stops on the way to Kuwait. Canada, Iceland and Germany. Roughly 24 hours of traveling and I haven't finished stocking up on beef jerky. We also have a bunch of briefs today that could have been distributed evenly about our 2.5 weeks here, but for whatever reason they decided to pack it in today, the day we need to just relax and finish packing.

Yesterday we did our convoy ops. It was alright, people 'died' and we all learned. Someone got a pic of me driving one of the humvees so if I can get that, I'll post it.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Sunday Again

Well, I have to say I am decidedly disappointed that Sunday night is here again. It means that Monday is coming and we have a full day tomorrow, in IBAs. I have begun to despise this place after two weeks. I'm ready to get over there and start my job.

One of the people I am working for at Camp Dubs has recently sent me an email outlining some of the job responsibilities and it is a LONG list. I believe she will be there splitting them with me or vice versa, so it shouldn't be too bad. The first month or two is the roughest while you get settled into your new job; always.

Mom, Bryan, thanks from coming to see me. Makes the weekend that much better. Lisa, it was so wonderful to get to spend one last day with you before I leave. I love you and I miss you already.

I'm headed to Kuwait later this week and while I'm ready to get started on my new job, I'm sad to leave you all. But then, that must be why they make this place so annoying...so you still want to go when they're done with you.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Hooa....ugh....

Past few days have been pretty rough. I like to believe the best of our drill instructors. I like to believe that when they have us put our gear on, file onto the road, select a few people going to one final destination, then have the rest of us go back to our seating and ground our gear, it's because they want us to get used to donning it.

That's what I WANT to believe. Much like I want to believe that one day my abs will look like Brad Pitt's. Okay, enough moaning...

So yesterday we did our M16 quals (for real this time). Got a 33 out of 40, which I guess is a sharpshooter. I think I missed expert by 1 point. Today was pretty long. Up at 345 for low light 9mm qual that we ended up NOT doing because of lightning within 25 miles (25!). The military has a way of saving your life while sacrificing your sanity. It's what we do.

Then we got to (drum roll), fire .50 cal and SAWs. The .50 cal is like a small cannon and when it fires near you, it rattles your teeth. Firing that was the most fun I've had in a long time, especially here. The SAW is an automatic machine gun and is almost as much fun as launching shells from your crotchal region with the aforementioned cannon. I'm in the NARMY now!

I know I said I'd post pics, but I'm so freakin tired right now, it's gonna have to wait til I have the energy to do it.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Have fun Noah!

So I got a 28 out of 40 on the qual range today. Much better than my first time. I've learned that once I readjust myself I tend to shoot really well if I wasn't shooting well to begin with.

Tomorrow is actual qual day, and then Thursday is some more range time. We almost lost our range time today due to the weather. Let's hope if it rains on Saturday during Land Nav, it starts after we've started our march, not before.

Noah's headed to boot camp tomorrow. Good luck man, love ya. If anyone reading this has his address or gets it soon, please send it to me so I can send him some good pics.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Cleaning

my M16...again...this place is full of M16 cleaning nazis.

Anyway, we hit the range again tomorrow. Today was cake, just some first aid stuff.

I'll post pics tomorrow of myself in Battle Rattle. There's nothing exciting going on at the moment. Just had a nice weekend is all. Dad and girlfriend came to see me, always good to see peeps, even though I have to tear myself away from the raging nightlife that is Camp McCrady. I mean, the shoppette shuts down at 2000! CRAAAZZZY MAN!

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Sunday

First Sunday...ahhhhh... slept til 730, what a day. We had very little training yesterday (4 hours) and today is full liberty day. Friday we were at a pop up target range which I did pretty well on (the guy watching my targets kept saying "Center Mass!", so I must have done well).

If I can, I'm goin to go get a massage today...my shoulders don't feel normal unless they have 60lbs of weight on them. That ain't right.